What is anxiety?

Here at Park Academy, we know how important your child’s mental health is, now more than ever, and how imperative it is to have open, honest, and ongoing conversations about stressful moments that can occur from time to time. Anxiety is a feeling of worry or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. This feeling of fear and the unknown can cause upset for children and adolescents of all ages. Being able to teach your child skills to manage and overcome anxious moments can benefit them immensely throughout life.

It is important to understand that some children are naturally more anxious than others and can find it difficult to handle stressful situations. Anxiety can be caused by a number of different factors such as;

Moving house
Changing school
Death of a family member or friend
Parents arguing or fighting
Change in daily routine
A new sibling
Issues in school such as bullying or exams
Falling out with friends
An accident
Illness
Abuse or neglect
Pandemic

So, what do we need to look out for when it comes to anxiety and our children?

Signs of anxiety in children

Tummy pain
Dizziness
Racing heart
Headaches
Excessive ticks
Finding it difficult to concentrate
Not sleeping at night or waking due to bad dreams
Sudden change in appetite
Incessant worrying and having negative thoughts
Sudden attachment to a parent or career
Quick to anger or very irritable
Loss of control during outbursts

These are some of the most common physical symptoms that we see displayed by children with anxiety. These symptoms are completely real, and they are the body’s biological response to the stress the child is feeling. It is important that the parents of an anxious child become comfortable talking about and understanding why their child may be exhibiting these symptoms of stress. If left untreated, the neurological symptoms of anxiety can cause disorders as the child’s biology has been upset by the stress they are under. Therefore, it is vital that we as parents talk to our children and ensure there is a continuous open dialogue and not just a once off conversation.

It is also important that we as parents give our children the opportunity to handle minor stressful situations when they occur and not try to ‘fix’ the problem or avoid the anxious event altogether. By doing this we are allowing our children to work through a stressful moment and come out the other side more capable than before. For example, if a child is running in the playground and falls, our response to the fall usually determines how the child will react. If we jump up and shout ‘Oh no, are you okay? Are you hurt?’ The child may cry, scream, or panic in that moment. However, if we can respond calmly in this situation, it allows the child to recognise how they are feeling and what they may need from us after a small fall. ‘You were running so quickly towards the swing. You have had a little fall. Can you tell me how you are feeling? Would you like to still go on the swing, or shall we have a look at you after your little fall?’ This response allows the child to figure out how they are feeling both physically and emotionally. It gives them the reassurance that you are there and know how to help if they feel that they need it. This also reminds the child of the fun they were about to have on the swing and whether their fall is worth delaying that fun or if they feel well enough to continue. This may seem like a small example, however, if a child can learn to manage a small stressful incident it gives them the confidence and understanding of what to do if this happens again and that there is help if they feel that they need it.

What to do if you feel you have an anxious child?

Communicate

Talking with and listening to your child creates an open and understanding environment that will benefit both you and your child. Listen to the little things that they are telling you. If they do not feel heard or valued, they will not come to you with bigger issues if they arise. Ensuring that your child has a safe space to process their feelings is not going to give them anxiety. If anything, by having open conversations you are giving your child the language they need to communicate how they are feeling which can prevent the presentation of physical symptoms altogether.

When to talk to your child?

This can be a difficult decision for parents. When is the right time to start talking to your child about a potential stressful situation like starting school? If we are present in the moment with our child, we will see natural cues to talk about upcoming events. For example, supermarkets will have advertising for back to school lunches. Uniforms will be displayed in stores and school bags and lunch boxes will be on sale. This could be the perfect opportunity to start the discussion with your child which can make them feel more prepared for their new chapter in school.

How to talk to your child?

This is probably the most important tool a parent can use when it comes to talking about a stressful situation with your child. Learning how to ask questions is so important. For example, asking your child, “Are you nervous about your first day in school?” This may make a child think there is something to be nervous about. Instead, you could ask your child, “How are you feeling about starting school?” This allows your child to give you their thoughts and feelings about starting school without being influenced by the language of your question.

What to do if you feel you need help with your anxious child?

First step – Go see your GP

If you think your child may be feeling anxious it is important to talk to your GP.
Parents need to be comfortable talking about and understanding why their child may be exhibiting physical symptoms of stress.
You can talk to the GP on your own or with your child. If your child is comfortable and you give consent, your child can talk to your GP alone too.
Your GP will determine if your child may need help from the early intervention team. Note – You can always self-refer your child to these services if you feel your child needs the extra help.

Second step – Referral to local services

Mild levels of anxiety can be referred to your local Primary Care Psychology service.
Children between 12-18 years old can attend their local Jigsaw service.
Mild to severe levels of anxiety can be referred to CAMHS (The Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service).
Local youth counselling services are available if your child doesn’t want to see their GP.

Remember

It is always a good idea to seek professional help if you feel that your child is always anxious and

you feel they are not getting better or if they are getting progressively worse.
the self-help tools are not working for your child.
their anxiety is affecting their daily lives in school and/or home.
Their anxiety is affecting your child’s friendships.

The following are some websites you might find useful when looking for help for your child:

Primary Care Psychology services – https://www.dublincypscdirectory.ie/health-wellbeing/hse-primary-care-primary-care-psychology-service
CAMHS – https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/mental-health-services/camhs/
Jigsaw – https://jigsaw.ie/